SCHOOOL

Well we are all back into school. I started two weeks ago and my last class started today. OH i dont know what i was thinking this semster. We shall see how things will end up.. I took an aerobics class. So far so good. I am making it through, Yes I can do this.

The kids started school last week. Ceceilia is doing good so far but Ben is having some problems. We shall see how things go.

Im stressed out thoguh. I Have been having this really bad dizzy spells. The doctor thinks they are becuase of me being stressed. Who knows. I am trying to destress and some of that means getting things organized. I need to be organized. I am slowly getting things organized how i want them in the house. we shall see if i can keep up with it. well i am exhausted so its off to bed for me. Later

nice

Well i started back to class... I took an aerobics class... yes why i do not know but so far so good. We did some walking today and it was pretty good. i felt really good afterwards. NICE.... I know it will get harder... but its all good.

I am trying to organize the house.i just need to get things together.... its sooo frustrating.

well kinda tired going to bed

less than two weeks left

well the kids start back to school on the 24th. thought it was the 17th but i was wrong. ben and i start on the 17th though..... its exciting but also exhausting. i am not sure if i am ready to go through another semseter..... i wish i was done already but i have at least 3 more years to go. they say its a two year program but they dont tell u u have three years of pre-reqs u need to do.... that is what gets you. i might need to take a semster off or something. i shouldnt have taken a class this summer. defiantely not doing this next summer. i might take the cna class but that is only 2 weeks i think i can handle that. a 10 week class for the summer is not good.

my mood isnt much better. i think my meds are at the pharmacy but my lovely husband keeps forgetting to pick them up. I have been clearing out the house though. I am trying to organize everything before i go back to school. i cant deal with a cluttered house plus scvhool work. im going through the kids clothes and toys to get rid of things they have outgrown or just broke. this is long over due....

well i am hoping to get to see my dad over the weekend of labor day.... i requested off so that we can go down and see them. hopefully i get it or i might just call off who knows....

i am making routines for the kids. i figure they will help everyone. i am taking my camera and taking pictures of the things i need them to do (since ben cant read yet) and also writing the words next to them to help him with his reading. Ive been doing a good job so far... I am working on getting ceceilia to straighten up her room. its a disater area. totally looks like a hurricane went through there...

we have oreniation for the kids on the 19th. i think ben is excited to meet his new teacher and get things moving along. I hope he does really well in school. as long as this teacher gets him on a routine he should do very well.... we shall see..

we have these three stray cats outside in our yard. they kids will sit at the door and watch them play for a very long time. one cat is very brave and annoying. he is climbing up my screen door. i have to chase him away. our cats dont seem to like the kittens. my husband i think wants to keep one of them... we are talking about trying to catch them and take them to the human society. at least there they will get a good home..

advice

Ok so my advice for today is......

Buy new oven mitts or you will get burned..... LOL

Yes it is kinda hard to type when your finger is in pain from being burned after taking cupcakes outta the oven. Yes the kids and I made cupcakes. Who ever thought of making boxes that make only 12 cupcakes are a genius. I made two boxes each kid got to pick which kinda they wanted and got to stir thier own. Plus two bowls...... So no fighting over the bowls. of course mommy did get the spoons. lol i had to get something especially since i was the one who got burnt.....

Icing them should be interesting, right now they are cooling and waiting to be iced.

On another note. I am feeling a little better but the doctor called and said i didnt get the meds from them so they cant refill it. WTF? the pysch said that my PCP could refill the meds. I guess i am looking for another pysch to go too. Who has the time for all this... I dont all i wanted was my meds. Its sooooo frustrating. Well maybe i can call the old pysch and get a refill but i know he is gonna wanna see me and i cant stand him......

Well I was wrong about the kids starting school on the 17th they dont start until the 24th. which means i go to school on the 17th and they dont... thats not fair..... lol

well im loooking for new storage ideas to get things organized. hopefully i can find what i am looking for. I have it in my head what i want just cant find it anywhere......

Well the cupcakes are almost ready to be iced so i gotta gooooo.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oh my gosh. This has been a horrible day. I am so annoyed with everyone. The kids husband the cats....everyone. I did finally call my medicine in but who knows how long before the doctor will fill it. I am so anxious, and something else. I have this like pent up feeling inside my chest. I fell like my heart is beating a millions times per second. I cant concentrate on anything. I have tons of things just flipping through my mind. I cant stop the racing thoughts. Its just one thing after another. I keep going from one point to another. Pacing seems to help keep me calm. Weird,, i know.

I rearranged the dinning room and living room today. I think it looks good. I still have lots of cleaning to do. I know I am manic. I feel it. I could run a marathon right now but dont want too. Its weird because i have all this energy yet i dont want to do anything. It comes in spurts.
Its after midnight and I am aggitated. The kids wont go to sleep my husband is annoying me. I just want everyone to leave me alone. I need a break I need a day off. I mean why does everyone else get a break but im with the kids 24-7/ Dang I cant wait until school starts. Then I will have a break.

I dont know how I am going to do this. I start school at the same time as the kids. I dont know if i am ready for this next semster. I feel a little better writing this but for some reason i just want to cry. I feel a little numb maybe i cant really explain how i am feeling.

I have sooo many things to still get for the kids for school. I hate shoppping for school things. I am mad at the school still hasnt sent us anything. I mean school starts in less than a week and we have not recieved any lists as to what they need. Also bens just starting kindergarden I dont know who his teacher is. I am also worried that he wont get to meet him before school starts and with his adhd meeting the teacher beforehand will make the transition go smoother. I am going to try to call them again. We shall see if anyone answers.

I hope my doctor calls me soon i really need my meds. I dont know why i do this. I havent had them for over a month and thought i was fine but now i am crashing. Damn disorder. I hate this. I dont know why some people like being manic i hate it. I cant sleep then there are days i dont want to wake up. I hate crashing and burning like this> I just wanna scream....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH